


The Most Precious Feeling In the World

by neoncharm



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Bisexual Character, Fake Dating, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Sort Of, Trans Character, based partially on the love hotel, it's only rated T because Miu is... Miu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-03-22 14:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13766304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoncharm/pseuds/neoncharm
Summary: “As long as you’re aware that this won’t be the real deal, I don’t mind helping you out,” he told Kiibo the next day. “I… don’t have any experience in such matters myself, but I’ll do my best to show you what love is like, Kiibo.”Saihara agrees to teach Kiibo about romance. The two end up learning a lot about themselves and each other, and Saihara realizes that it's not as easy to maintain an objective persona as he initially thought.





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t that Saihara was opposed to the proposition because Kiibo was another boy (or at least Saihara assumed Kiibo identified as such.)  He’d been aware of his attraction to both men and women (and others, maybe, but Saihara hadn’t met many nonbinary people) for a few years, and while he wasn’t exactly open about his sexuality, it didn’t bother him either.

In fact, Kiibo wasn’t the first male classmate he’d had this kind of encounter with. In the past, Saihara had had a fleeting thing for Amami (but Amami was hopelessly out of his league) and somewhat more serious feelings for Momota (but Momota was hopelessly straight.)

Saihara had also developed a very short-lived crush on Akamatsu when they first became friends. She was just so nice, and pretty, and fun to be around, and Saihara could feel himself falling quickly -- until Akamatsu came out as a lesbian. Saihara wasn’t disappointed by this revelation, only relieved that he’d learned of it before even beginning to think of confessing, and since then had entrusted her with the knowledge that he was bi.

In any case, all of these things were now in the past, and Akamatsu had acquired three girlfriends since (Saihara was impressed; Iruma said that the academy should change Akamatsu’s title to ”SHSL Chad,” whatever that meant.) Saihara resigned himself to being single for the foreseeable future.

Maybe Saihara shouldn’t have been surprised that Kiibo requested the favor of him and not another student. At the beginning of their time at Hope’s Peak Academy, the two were not terribly close; Kiibo was certainly friendly and his existence as a self-learning AI was intriguing, but he could be difficult to interact with due to his tendency to accuse others of “robophobia” and his lack of understanding of social cues.

However, as his two best friends became less available, Saihara began to find himself spending more time with Kiibo. Akamatsu spent most of her free time with her girlfriends now and while Momota was a good friend, Saihara felt somewhat alienated by his occasional insensitivity towards LGBT-related topics.

And when Saihara started hanging out with the robot more, he realized he wasn't the only one who was lonely. Kiibo’s tirades about robophobia often verged on ludicrosity, but it was true that most of his classmates didn’t seem to see him as an equal, and some were more blatant about it than others. As someone who was often treated like an outsider because of his profession and introversion, Saihara felt a sense of kinship with his friend and resolved to make Kiibo feel more appreciated. He never said this out loud, of course, but Kiibo seemed to appreciate the company nonetheless.

 Despite all of this, Saihara still found himself shocked when Kiibo shyly asked him to “form a romantic pair bond with me.” Upon seeing the look on Saihara’s face, Kiibo quickly explained that he only wanted to “simulate” the experience -- as a robot, he had never felt romantic love before but wished to know what it was like.

 “It is embarrassing, but... you are the only one I can turn to,” he had admitted, poking his fingers together. “Even though it, it will not be a real relationship, I understand if you turn me down regardless.”

 Saihara responded that he needed time to think about it, and would get back to Kiibo tomorrow. Sitting alone in his room, he pondered his choices. Even after having taken on so many adultery cases, Saihara still believed in the strength and purity of love, and had vowed to himself that he would always take relationships seriously. He knew it was a bit naive and had never communicated these thoughts to anyone other than Akamatsu, who thankfully hadn't mocked him for it.

 So would agreeing to “simulate” romance with Kiibo be a betrayal of his values? Saihara knew he didn’t have romantic feelings for Kiibo, and though acknowledging it made him squirm with guilt, he knew deep down that he couldn’t see himself actually dating Kiibo because he was a robot. Saihara definitely saw Kiibo as a real person with real emotions whom he cared for, but the concept of a romantic relationship with an artificial being was too much to wrap his mind around.

Not that he would ever tell Kiibo any of this. Besides, the fact that Kiibo had chosen to ask Saihara and not anybody else was flattering.

Maybe if he approached it like an investigation, it wouldn’t be so bad. It wasn’t like Saihara was going to actually enter a real relationship anytime soon, anyway.

“As long as you’re aware that this won’t be the real deal, I don’t mind helping you out,” he told Kiibo the next day. “I… don’t have any experience in such matters myself, but I’ll do my best to show you what love is like, Kiibo.”

 Kiibo’s eyes shone. “Thank you, Saihara, thank you so much! I will do my best as well! I already have a list of things we can do to simulate the full experience; we can take walks by the beach, go to the amusement park, buy each other flowers, plan what rings we will wear…”

Saihara felt his eye twitch. “Uh, slow down there! Couldn’t we start a bit… smaller? Like holding hands or something?”

Kiibo looked abashed. “Ah, I apologize… I was overjoyed by your kindness and got ahead of myself. I, I do not mind taking this slowly, but…” He blushed suddenly.

“...But?”

“Isn’t holding hands very… intimate?” Kiibo was sweating profusely at this point.

 _And buying engagement rings isn’t?_ Saihara resisted the urge to put his face in his hands and instead responded that no, hand holding was actually often the first way couples showed affection when they started going out.

Kiibo nodded in understanding. “Oh! I was not aware… in that case, that would be the most logical course of action.”

It turned out to be more of an awkward handshake than actual hand holding, and Kiibo’s face was glowing so intensely that Saihara worried he was going to short circuit, but it could have been worse.

 

Besides, Kiibo’s hand was warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saihara has some internalized robophobia that he needs to overcome.
> 
> Kaede's three friendly girls are Maki, Miu, and Kirumi, by the way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to thank everyone for the positive reception I've received so far!

It's been a couple weeks since Saihara started teaching Kiibo about romance and the experience has been far from unpleasant, if a bit uneventful (Kiibo still seems to have trouble understanding that holding hands wasn’t a huge deal.) They meet up for a few hours, talk about this or that with hands linked, and then depart again.

It's all fairly low-key, but Saihara doesn’t mind. He does, however, request that they not show any affection while near other students -- he just doesn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.

This lull is broken one day when they're taking a stroll around campus. Kiibo has just finished recounting some anecdotes from his “childhood” and has been silent for a few minutes before hesitantly asking, “Um, Saihara…?”

Saihara cocks his head; Kiibo looks oddly worried. “What is it?”

“It is just… well… do you have a heart condition?”

Out of all the things Saihara thought Kiibo might say, that statement was not among them. “I’m sorry, what…?”

Kiibo flinches, coming to a halt. “S-Sorry if this is an invasive question! You see, I was recently upgraded with a program that can detect heartbeats; it is located in my hand and I noticed that your heartbeat is consistently faster than the average male heartbeat? If anything, it is closer to that of an--”

Saihara holds his breath, knowing where this conversation is going--

“--an, average female…”

Kiibo seems to notice his friend’s discomfort and drops Saihara’s hand. “Ah, I apologize again…! I do not want to pry, but I was concerned for your wellbeing, and if you have any condition you should see a--”

“No, Kiibo,” Saihara cuts him off, his words heavy. “I’m healthy, I don’t have any condition.”

“Then why…?”

“But you are right, it’s not normal for an average male… but you see, that’s the thing.” He laughs ruefully. “You’re pretty sharp, so I thought you’d notice something was different about me eventually, but I didn’t think it’d be because of… my heartbeat?”

Saihara pauses, his mouth quirking slightly at Kiibo’s lost expression. “Sorry, I don’t mean to speak in riddles… Kiibo, do you know what ‘transgender’ means?”

Kiibo brings his hand to his face, appearing to be recalling something. “I have heard of it, yes. I once researched how humans modify their bodies as I was curious how similar it was to how I can be upgraded, and sex reassignment was among the topics I read about.”

“...Ah. I’m not sure where to start, but…”

“Then, are you…?”

“I am, but what you read up on probably doesn’t match up with my own experience. And,” Saihara puts a hand on Kiibo’s shoulder, “please don’t look so gravely worried. I’m not mad and I was planning to tell you anyway, I just wasn’t sure how. I guess you could say you saved me the trouble.”

Exhaling, he flops down and pats the grass next to him. “Sit, I’ll do my best to explain.” Kiibo carefully sits down next to him.

“S-So, yeah, my heartbeat is like that because my body is… well, I don’t like calling it ‘female,’ but I was assigned female at birth. I’ve never felt fully comfortable with that since, but I only figured it out a few years ago.”

Kiibo hums thoughtfully. “If I am not mistaken, that is ‘gender dysphoria,’ isn’t it?” Saihara nods in response.

“Yeah… I actually don’t mind being feminine to some extent, but the idea of being a girl always felt wrong? And when I learned about trans stuff, it’s like a lightbulb went off in my brain. My parents... aren’t around a lot, and the family I live with doesn’t really care what I do, so I came up with a new name for myself, start dressing differently, and otherwise tried to make myself… pass as male? That’s what they call it. When I came to this academy, I requested that they register me as male in the system and not tell anyone about my assigned gender; they were pretty accommodating, which I really appreciate.”

“I see… but what did you mean by my research being dissimilar to your own experience?”

Saihara rubs the back of his neck. “Hah... you see, I haven’t had any surgery or hormones or anything like that… I can’t really afford it at the moment. And… I feel really uneasy about telling anyone this because it makes me feel invalid, but… I’m not sure how much I want to transition?”

Kiibo blinks (or at least Saihara thinks he does; it’s hard to tell if him shutting his eyes has any actual effect on his eyesight or if it is just for show.) “What is wrong with that?”

“Well… most people assume that if you’re trans you’re going to go through with all the physical stuff, you know? A-And if you express anything otherwise, then you’re seen as ‘faking it’... but I know for sure I’m a guy, I just… well, I do think I’ll get surgery, but I don’t feel the need to alter my body with hormones… I’m already pretty happy with how I pass and I like my voice the way it is, even if I get a lot of comments about it…” He ducks his head. “Even so, it does make me feel like a fraud…”

Before he can continue, Kiibo claps a hand on his shoulder. Saihara looks up at him in surprise. “Saihara! While I may not be able to fully relate to your situation, I do not think such assertions are logical. You truly feel that you are male, correct?” He pauses, waits for a response.

Saihara frowns. “I, I think so, yes… I just worry that others will think I’m not really trans or male without the proper… biology, so to speak.”

Kiibo shakes his head. “Although I strongly believe in the power of logic and facts, I have learned that some things transcend them. For instance, some may say that because I am artificial, I do not truly experience emotions and I will never be able to relate to humans.”

Saihara can remember a lot of times when their classmates had made comments to that effect.

“But even if I am an AI, and these feelings are artificial, I have decided that it doesn’t matter! Because it feels real to me; the friendship I share with you and with others is genuine and strong.” He smiles. “I am sure that it is the same for you and your identity, so… please trust in your emotions, Saihara.”

Saihara stares at him. “I… wow, Kiibo. That was really… deep.”

Kiibo jumps slightly in response, embarrassment suddenly clear on his face, and quickly removes his hand from Saihara’s shoulder. “A-Ah! I apologize for being so presumptuous and lecturing you on something I know little about; I hope that I wasn’t--”

“It’s alright…!” Saihara does his best to give Kiibo a reassuring smile. “It, it helped a lot, actually. You’re absolutely right.”

Kiibo’s eyes widen at that and he straightens a little. “I’m… I’m really glad then! And I wanted to add that while I do not share your situation, I have never truly identified with any gender despite being referred to as male by most people. I understand the concept of gender to some degree, but I am not sure what it is supposed to ‘feel like,’ if that makes sense.”

“It does! I’d love to talk about it more with you and hopefully help you figure out your own identity…?”

Kiibo nods quickly at the proposal, looking excited. His enthusiasm is contagious, and Saihara’s trying not to let his own smile get too big. He tries to ignore the warmth in his stomach and changes the topic instead.

“You know, Kiibo, you’ve changed a lot since I met you.” Kiibo looks concerned, and Saihara pushes on hastily. “In a good way, I mean! I feel that I can be completely honest with you by now so I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but when we started talking I felt like I was being looked down upon...?”

Saihara expects Kiibo to start berating him at this, but he says nothing, so Saihara continues.

“I totally get the robophobia thing, by the way; it was just… kind of hard to form a connection at the time. And I have my own issues with socializing, so it wasn’t completely your fault! But anyway, it’s a lot easier to talk to you now and you’ve been very supportive and understanding and I feel that we’re on equal footing now. You’re a, a great friend, Kiibo.”

He stops there, suddenly embarrassed about how much he rambled on. Kiibo’s blushing too, which isn’t helping.

Kiibo appears to compose himself before saying, “I-I see! I greatly appreciate your honesty, Saihara, and am glad that you think that. It is very validating to know that I have been successful at learning how to form bonds with others.”

“Not to mention you didn’t get angry at me for any of that, which is a dramatic change from the beginning of our friendship,” Saihara half-jokes. “Before, you’d have accused me of being robophobic and not believing that robots can develop character or something.”

Kiibo frowns at him. “Hey! Just because we have come to understand each other better does not mean that any robophobia will be excused. I absolutely will not tolerate such comments--”

He goes on in this vein for a while, but Saihara just smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the dialogue-heavy chapter; I'm no good at writing extended conversations. I hope it didn't drag on too much.
> 
> Also, I wrote Saihara based **partially** on my own experience as a trans person. I hope that I conveyed this without projecting my own personal feelings too much, haha. 
> 
> It's late where I am and there are probably some typos; I'll fix any tomorrow when I'm more awake.


	3. Chapter 3

They’re studying for an upcoming test, and Kiibo’s acting weird. At first Saihara thinks he dropped a pencil or something, but after Kiibo makes the odd, jerking motion for the fourth time he starts to feel mildly worried.

“Um, Kiibo, are you alright…?” Saihara inquires gently.

Kiibo freezes and turns to face him. “O-Of course I am! Why would I not be?”

“Well, it’s like you keep trying to reach for something and then suddenly stop, so I was wondering if you were broken or having a glitch or…?” Saihara laughs awkwardly.

Unexpectedly, Kiibo’s face flushes. “Ah, well…” He trails off, pushing his fingers together.

Saihara cocks an eyebrow, feeling more confused by the second. “Do you need something, Kiibo?”

“...Iwustrynauhgu,” Kiibo mumbles. Saihara’s about to ask him to raise his voice when he jumps up suddenly.

“Saihara!! I apologize!”

“...For what?”

“I have heard that the next logical step of intimacy in relationships after holding hands is to embrace, and I wished to initiate it as I felt that it was unfair that so far in our arrangement the burden of initiating romantic gestures has fallen on you! However I was too nervous to complete the action and I now realize that I likely should have notified you of my intent beforehand! I am sorry!”

Kiibo tends to lapse into this strange, formal yet incomprehensible style of speech when he’s distressed. Thankfully Saihara’s experienced it enough times by now that he can usually decipher what Kiibo is trying to say. He blinks up at the robot. “Are you trying to say you want a hug…?”

Kiibo gasps a little. “Y-Yes... ”

Kiibo’s definitely not an innocent baby or anything and Saihara knows he hates being thought of as such, but it’s at times like this that he can’t help thinking that Kiibo can be downright adorable. Or he would but that would be weird and as Saihara already established, this was only a simulation of a relationship. Just a model. No actual feelings involved.

In any case, he suppresses a laugh and asks Kiibo if he’s ever been hugged before.

“No, never…” Kiibo answers, looking dejected. “The professor is always very kind to me, but he is not the type to express affection.”

That makes Saihara feel a little sad. Even his family, as distant as they are, hug him sometimes, and Momota often throws an arm around his shoulder (“no homo.”) He knows he’s the first to show Kiibo any (semblance of) romantic affection, but he hadn’t realized Kiibo hadn’t even experienced a quick squeeze.

“Well, I don’t mind at all,” he reassures Kiibo. “I mean, the timing is kind of awkward since we’re studying, but I think we were almost done anyway, so...” He stands up and lifts his arms a little. “Uh, come here…?”

Kiibo hesitates for a second before shuffling forward and gingerly wrapping his arms around Saihara, who returns the gesture. He’s not going to lie, Kiibo’s armor pressed against him is pretty uncomfortable and he has to be careful that the stiff white hair doesn’t poke out his eye, but he ignores the discomfort for Kiibo’s sake and pulls the robot a little closer.

Kiibo is pretty warm at least, and while Saihara can’t see his face, he’s sure it’s burning red… though he can’t deny that his own heartbeat has sped up a little (he _really_ hopes Kiibo can’t detect that in his current position.) Kiibo’s just the right height that Saihara could rest his chin on his head if he wanted to (which he definitely doesn’t.)

The two stay that way for a few minutes before Kiibo lets go and steps back. He is indeed blushing, but what really catches Saihara’s attention is the dazed, wobbly smile on his face. _It’s just a hug, sheesh…_

Saihara clears his throat, which seems to bring Kiibo back to reality. “Um, how was it…?”

“S-So this is what a hug feels like…” Kiibo puts his hands on his hips, looking pleased with himself. “It was very enjoyable! Thank you, Saihara.”

Saihara rubs the back of his head, not knowing how to respond. A thought strikes him and he changes the topic instead -- “Hey, Kiibo. Is your armor, like, a part of your body?”

“Ah? No, it is detachable but I usually only take it off when I require maintenance… why do you ask?"

Too late, Saihara realizes that his question could have been taken the wrong way. “O-Oh, I was just wondering if you need it for protection or something or if you can wear clothing instead? I realized I’ve never seen you wear anything else.”

“...Are you implying that robots can’t wear clothing?”

Saihara puts his hands up defensively. “No, no… I’m just genuinely curious, I promise!” 

It seems to placate Kiibo. “The armor does provide some additional protection, yes, but it is also part of my design. I do not need to wear it all the time and I did sometimes wear clothing when I still lived with the professor… I would be lying if I said human fashion does not interest me, even if I do not really understand it.” 

Saihara puts a hand to his chin. “Well, I’ve got a spare t-shirt and shorts that I don’t need since it’s still cold… would you like to try them on?”

Kiibo looks taken aback. “A-are you sure?! You have already done a lot for me, I can’t possibly accept such a kind gift from y--” 

“It’s… not that big of a deal…?” Saihara says, feeling sweat form on his brow. Kiibo appears to be on the verge of continuing to protest, so he quickly reassures him that it’s fine, Kiibo can consider it an early birthday gift, and that no, he doesn’t need to do anything in return. Eventually Kiibo gives in, but he starts detaching his armor in front of Saihara, who quickly shuts himself in the bathroom. Kiibo may not have a human body, but Saihara still feels like he should give him privacy. He also belatedly realizes that he probably should have told Kiibo to change in the bathroom instead. _Awkward._  

After a few minutes, he hears Kiibo call his name and hesitantly peers around the bathroom door. Kiibo’s armor has been placed neatly on the floor and Kiibo himself, wearing Saihara’s clothes, is looking in the mirror. 

“How do you think it looks, Saihara? It has been so long since I wore anything besides my armor, it feels odd…”

Saihara hadn’t realized how much Kiibo’s armor contributed to his bulk; he looks strangely thin and diminutive without it. But Saihara’s summer wear fits him well enough; the shorts look more like normal pants on him due to his smaller height. He looks a bit like a kid, but it’s alright.

“It’s certainly a new look for you, Kiibo!” Saihara smiles at him. “But I think you look cool. Do _you_ like it?”

Kiibo gazes at himself for a moment longer. “I think so… I… hm.” He frowns slightly. 

“What is it?” Saihara asks, somewhat concerned. 

“Mmm… not that I am ashamed of myself and my design, but do you think I would fit in more with my human classmates if I wore clothing more often…?” Kiibo looks guilty for even expressing the thought, and Saihara feels a stab of pity. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with Kiibo’s design, but it did indeed make him stand out and he’d gotten some rude comments on it before. 

“I think you might,” Saihara makes sure to choose his next words carefully, “but you shouldn’t decide how to present yourself based on other people’s opinions of you, even if they’re negative. Do it for yourself, you know? And,” he makes his way over to Kiibo and examines their reflections, “if anyone gives you trouble, I’ll back you up.”

Kiibo appears to ponder his words before nodding slowly. “You are right… I apologize, I do not usually think about such things, but sometimes…” 

He still looks ashamed, and Saihara nudges him gently. “I understand, Kiibo.” 

Kiibo shakes his head as if dispelling bad thoughts and straightens his back. “Thank you for the support! I think that I will try wearing clothes more often; it will be a useful experience… ah, but I do not have any clothing of my own…” 

“You can keep those,” Saihara gestures at Kiibo’s current outfit, “and if you’d like, we could go shopping for clothes sometime…? I’m no master of fashion, but I could help you find your style.” 

Kiibo looks awestruck. “R-Really…? Thank you once again, Saihara! You really are too kind, it means a lot to me!”

Saihara can’t help but beam at Kiibo’s sincerity. “Don’t worry about it Kiibo.” He remembers what had prompted him to ask about the armor in the first place. “Oh, also… could I hug you again?” 

He giggles nervously at Kiibo's bewildered expression. “Um, I hope you won’t take offense to this but your armor isn’t exactly… comfortable and I was wondering what hugging you would feel like without it…?” With every word Saihara becomes increasingly aware of how stupid he sounds. “This probably sounds super weird, I’m sorry--” 

He’s cut off by Kiibo quickly turning to him and hugging him tightly. Saihara tenses up in shock before relaxing a little and returning the embrace. He can feel Kiibo’s smooth metal body through his shirt; without the armor, the experience is a lot more pleasant. 

He could get used to this.

* * *

 

The next day, Kiibo comes to class wearing the clothes (Saihara’s glad that nobody can tell it’s his.) While everyone else crowds around him, asking questions about his sudden change in attire, Saihara hangs back. He doesn’t say a word, but when Kiibo catches his eye he smiles slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol gay


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up for a very mild weed joke in this chapter in case that bothers anyone
> 
> (sorry for memeing)

It’s 8 o’clock in the evening when Saihara decides to get a drink from the dorm kitchen. Usually everyone is either at the dining hall or has already eaten by this time, so he’s surprised to hear noises coming from the kitchen. He’s even more surprised when he enters and the person occupying it is Kiibo, who’s wearing an apron (over his armor) and cracking eggs into a bowl.

“Kiibo…?”

The robot in question turns around in surprise. “Oh! Hello, Saihara!”

“What’s… up?”

“Why, I’m cooking, of course!” Kiibo huffs a little. “For the Super High School Level Detective, you sometimes seem to have trouble recognizing basic details.”

Saihara decides to disregard that last bit. “Cooking…? But why would you…?”

Kiibo frowns at him. “If we were not such close friends I would consider that robophobic, Saihara. Anyway, it is true that I cannot eat, but I simply enjoy the action of cooking. It is soothing and I used to do it for the professor on occasion.”

Saihara nods in understanding. “Oh, that makes sense… what do you do with the food afterwards, though?”

“I usually place it on the table and look at it for a while.”

“And…?”

“That is all…?”

Saihara pictures Kiibo sitting at a table staring mournfully at his food and feels his eye twitch. “...I see.”

Kiibo sighs. “Iruma did offer to cook with me and try the food at one point, but when I questioned her about it at a later date she said something about not being able to enter the kitchen…?”

Saihara quirks an eyebrow at him. “That’s odd, I wonder what she meant.” Kiibo just shrugs. “But in any case, I’d love to help you cook and try the food.”

As usual, Kiibo expresses extreme excitement and gratitude in response to the proposal. Saihara has come to expect this kind of reaction by now (not that he minds), but it does remind him that besides Iruma (and Professor Iidabashi, presumably), Kiibo doesn’t have many close friends. He can also guess why Kiibo chose to cook after everyone else was done with the kitchen, but knows better than to point it out.

In any case, Saihara helps Kiibo prepare the meal, which happens to be an omelette. Kiibo confidently assures him that he doesn’t need help cracking the eggs, as his hands are precise enough to handle them without completely crushing them (“Only the most advanced of robots would be able to do this task!”). He also says he can cover cutting the onions, since it won’t irritate his synthetic eyes. Saihara settles for preparing the rice instead.

They don’t speak much otherwise, but the silence isn’t unpleasant at all. Saihara hasn’t properly cooked in a long time (he usually relies on packaged macaroni or ramen when he doesn’t visit the dining hall), and it feels strangely calming. Kiibo starts humming at some point; thankfully it’s nowhere as grating as his singing.

Saihara is about to add soy sauce to the rice when he hears Kiibo exclaim something behind him. He turns around to see that the robot has somehow covered his face with ketchup.

“A-Ah, are you okay, Kiibo…?”

Kiibo rubs his eyes frantically. “I-I accidentally squeezed the bottle too hard and it sprayed everywhere! I can’t see!”

 _So much for those precise hands._ His actions are only succeeding in getting his hands covered with the stuff instead, so Saihara steps in and takes the bottle from him. “Calm down, Kiibo! I’ll clean you up, just give me a second.”

Thankfully Kiibo stills, so Saihara quickly wets a washing cloth, cups Kiibo’s face in one hand, and starts wiping the ketchup off of it with the other. Kiibo doesn't blink when he cleans his eyes, which is a bit unnerving even though Saihara knows it wouldn't serve a purpose. He leans in a bit to make sure he doesn't miss any ketchup stuck in between Kiibo's face and collar.

It feels weirdly intimate, and Saihara is silently relieved that nobody else is in the kitchen at the moment.

“Uh, hello…?”

Except Akamatsu has chosen that instant to walk in, apparently.

Saihara jumps in shock and spins around, nearly knocking over a still half-blind Kiibo. Kaede just stares.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Saihara realizes that from Akamatsu’s angle, his and Kiibo’s position could have been interpreted in a _very_ different way and curses internally. It doesn’t help that Kiibo is now clutching his shoulder in an attempt to stay upright. “N-No! Kiibo has, has something on his face so I was helping him get it off! That’s all!”

Akamatsu gives him a weird look. “Um. Okay. Well, I’m just getting a drink, so… don’t mind me?” She walks past them and opens the fridge.

“Saihara was simply inspecting my interface!“ Kiibo pipes up helpfully behind him. Saihara feels like he’s been transported into one of Shirogane’s weird fanfictions.

Still eyeing them doubtfully, Akamatsu takes a swig from her drink. “Isn’t that just grand. I’ve got to finish some homework before bed, so I won’t interrupt your fun. See you around.” She gives Saihara an exaggerated wink on her way out, to which he mouths “STOP” in response.

Once Akamatsu has left, Saihara relaxes and drags his hands down his face. “Jesus Christ.”

“Can you help me remove the rest of this…?” Kiibo asks, still completely oblivious.

* * *

 

It’s not the best omelette Saihara has ever had, but it’s edible enough. He tells Kiibo this, since honesty is important, and thankfully he doesn’t seem disappointed. Kiibo declares that he’ll keep practicing until he creates the perfect omelette. (“You’ll have to taste-test for me, Saihara!” “...Every single one of them?” “Of course!”)

Kiibo’s eyes sparkle as he says this, and Saihara thinks that maybe some botched omelettes will be worth it if he can see Kiibo so happy more often.

* * *

 

“So, you and Kiibo, huh?” Akamatsu asks him teasingly at lunch the next day. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, you have been spending a lot of time together lately.”

Saihara shoots her a look. “Whatever you thought you saw -- it wasn’t like that.”

Akamatsu smiles knowingly and reaches over to pat his hand. “There’s no need to deny it, Saihara. I support you completely.”

“I told you, I was helping Kiibo clean his face!”

“You remind me of Maki when we first started dating. She actually made us say ‘no homo’ when we kissed, can you believe it? She must have picked it up from Momota or something, it was hilarious.”

Saihara tries to imagine Harukawa saying “no homo” and fails. “We. Are. Not. Dating.”

“Alright, alright, if you say so!” She rolls her eyes. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Kiibo did like you, though. I think Miu mentioned something about it a while ago…?”

Saihara wonders what Iruma of all people could have had to say about his relationship with Kiibo but decides not to pursue it. “That reminds me, Kiibo said Iruma can’t enter the kitchen; would you happen to know the story behind that?”

Akamatsu chokes on her salad but manages to retain her composure. “Oh yeah, that’s a funny one. Basically Miu scammed an upperclassman into buying fake weed and now neither of them are allowed to enter the greenhouse or any kitchens ever again.”

“...I’m sorry?”

“Okay, you know the upperclassman with the weird hair? Class 78 I think?”

Saihara can think of a lot of upperclassmen with weird hair. “You’ll need to be more specific.”

Akamatsu throws her hands in the air. “Listen, it’s hard to remember everyone’s names! Um, the one who wears sandals and carries around a crystal ball all the time. You know that guy?”

“Yasuhiro Hagakure?” He’d seen the upperclassman in question a couple times, and judging by his appearance and general demeanor Saihara can believe that Hagakure could be tricked into such a thing.

“Yeah, that guy. So Miu sold Hagakure some oregano and told him it was weed and he actually tried to smoke it, which set off the smoke detector, which got him and Miu in trouble. But since it wasn’t real weed the faculty couldn’t actually charge them with anything, so they just indefinitely banned both Miu and Hagakure from the greenhouse and kitchen since… that’s where you can find oregano, I guess. I guess you could say it was to stop Miu from trying that scam again but also for Hagakure’s safety.”

“Your... your girlfriend is… quite something.” Saihara can feel a headache coming on.

Akamatsu beams. “I know, right? I love her so much!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Kaede.
> 
> Apologies for the delay in uploading this chapter, I was busy last week and didn’t have time to work on it at all. I already have most of chapter 5 and some of chapter 6 written, though, so the next few updates should be more speedy.
> 
> Also if it wasn’t clear, this takes place in an AU where the V3 cast is at HPA.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's short but important.

Saihara swears the incident with Akamatsu must have jinxed him. Or maybe it was a warning of what was to come. Either way, he’s known it was bound to happen for a while, but he never did come up with how he plans to react to it in time. 

As result, Saihara isn’t prepared when Kiibo asks him to kiss him.

Saihara is struck silent, his thoughts racing. “I…” He took a deep breath. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Kiibo.”

Kiibo winces slightly. “O-Oh… that is alright then, no need to apologize…” 

Seeing his friend’s crestfallen expression, Saihara feels a pang of shame. “It’s… it’s not because you’re a robot or anything, Kiibo… I don’t know if that’s what you’re assuming, but I promise it’s not that. I-It’s just that… I’ve never kissed anyone before and,” he smiles ruefully, “it’s kind of a special thing, you know? So I want to save it for someone who I actually…”

“...Ah. I understand completely, Saihara.” He smiles back, but Saihara knows he’s said the wrong thing. “I-If it is alright, I think I might leave now…” 

Unable to respond and sick with guilt, Saihara watches Kiibo turn around and shuffle his way to the door. Even his ahoge is drooping. 

_ If I let him leave now, I’ll regret it. _

The thought makes his already rushing heartbeat go into overdrive, and before he can fully comprehend what he’s feeling, he reaches out a hand. “W… Wait.”

Kiibo turns back to face him, a question on his lips.

Saihara takes a deep breath. “I’ll do it.”

“Ehh?! Really?” Kiibo still looks unsure. “P-Please do not feel forced to say yes, Saihara! I don’t mind if y-”

“No,” Saihara cuts him off. “I-It’s fine. We may not be… like that, but you’re a special friend to me and... i-if it’s with you, if it’s just this once, I don’t mind…”

Kiibo’s already blushing again. Saihara tries to  _ not _ think about how relieved he is to see that expression and instead stands up to square himself in front of Kiibo. “Alright, s-so…”

“Ah…”

“Um…”

“...”

“...”

Neither of them can look each other in the eye, and Saihara knows he’s just as red in the face as Kiibo by now. He steels himself and takes Kiibo’s hands in his, suddenly acutely aware of how short the robot is. “Are, are you ready…?”

Kiibo looks like he might faint, but he nods shakily, shutting his eyes. Saihara sucks in another breath, leans in…

...And carefully presses his lips to Kiibo’s. His mouth definitely doesn’t feel like human flesh (not that Saihara knows what kissing another human feels like), but it’s smooth and not at all uncomfortable. He’s really hot, though; any warmer and Saihara would have been scalded by the contact. 

Saihara doesn’t really know what else to do and Kiibo isn’t responding, so he breaks the kiss after a moment and leans back. By now Kiibo’s face isn’t just red; it’s actually emitting light. Saihara’s really sweaty and he can feel his hands shaking slightly, though, so it’s not like he’s in any place to judge.

Kiibo seems to come to his senses and looks up at Saihara sharply. “U-Um..!! That was… that was really… really n-nice.” He averts his gaze again at the last word. They’re still holding hands. 

Saihara finds himself at a loss for words. He clears his throat, squeezes Kiibo’s hands slightly before letting go and stepping away. “I-I’m glad. Like I said, I’ve, I’ve never done that kind of thing before, so…” 

“T-Thank you, Saihara.” He’s still blushing, but his expression is serious now. “Sharing something like that with me… it means a lot. I will cherish it.” Saihara’s poor heart skips yet again, and Kiibo doesn’t look away this time. 

They exchange a few more awkward words before Kiibo takes his leave. Once the robot is gone, Saihara exhales deeply and flops back onto his bed. 

_ Kiibo was lit up like a Christmas tree, and yet he was able to say something like that while I stood there like an idiot… _

No. Don’t think about that.

_ The feeling of being so close to him, their hands linked, Kiibo’s warm mouth against his--- _

Not that either.

_ I’m glad it was with him-- _

Saihara groans and puts his face in his hands. It still feels hot.

_ Shit. _


End file.
